Thursday, December 4, 2008

sardarji

Sardarji has visited Registrar Office to obtain birth certificate for his new born son. Clerk asked the details of new born baby.
Sardarji: “Mother- Sikh, Fathe- Sikh and Baby- Chineese”
Clerk exclaimed “How can you say Chinese? When both parents are Sikh”
“News paper says.” Sardarji replied “every fourth person born on the earth now is a chineese and it is my fourth issue”.

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Sardarji went to an Industrial exhibition. He enquired about a machine, which he thinks to be useful in his daily routine.
Salesman: “This machine will reduce your work by a half”
Sardiarji : “Please give me two of them”.

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A ghati Sardarji wanted to buy a television and visits an electronic shop in the nearby town.
Sardarji: “Do you have colour TVS?”
Shop keeper replied : “sure”
Sardarji: “Give me a green one please”.

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A foreign visitor to a Sardarji: “ Have you ever read Shakespear?”
Sardarji back to him “No…Who wrote it?”

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Cricket loving Sardarji to his friend : “…….I lost Rs.8000/- in a bet yesterday”
His friend: “How come?”
Sardarji : “The match is being shown on TV, I bet Rs. 5000/-”
Friend: “ But, that’s only Rs. 5000/-”
Sardarji: “…….yaar, I bet on highlights too”.

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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Appraisal report of next in the line

To ,
The HR Manager

Venky, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Venky works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Venky never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time... Often Venky takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Venky is an individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Venky can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Venky be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible..
Yours Truly,
Project Manager
NB: Kindly ignore my previous email ,That stupid idiot Venky was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report sent to you earlier today.
For his appraisal, kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9,11, 13)
Consider this as a true assessment of him..
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To ,
The HR Manager
Venky, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Venky works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Venky never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Venky takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Venky is an individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Venky can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Venky be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.
Yours Truly,
Project Manager

Friday, February 22, 2008

Many ways to stop all those irritating calls

  • After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.
  • Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can all him/her back.
  • Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
  • Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
  • Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.
  • Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up...louder... louder... louder!
  • Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.
  • If they start out with, "How are you today?", say "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems............"
  • Cry out in surprise, "Helen, is that you? I've been hoping you'd call! How is the family?" When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.
  • Tell the HSBC call center guy to call on your office number and give him the ICICI call center number.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

JUST FOR LAUGH...


SARDARJI & THE INTERVIEWER
Interviewer: What is your birth date?
Sardarji : 13th October
Interviewer: Which year?
Sardarji: mmm... EVERY YEAR
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SARDARJI IN INTERVIEW
Manager asked to Sardarji at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardarji replied: P-O-S-T-B-O- X
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SARDARJI & LONDON TRIP
After returning back from a foreign trip,
Sardarji asked his wife: “Do I look like a foreigner?”
Wife: “No! Why?”
Sardarji: “In London, a lady asked me, "Are you a foreigner?”. That's why.”
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SARDARJI & TOURIST
One tourist from America asked to Sardarji whether any great man born in this Village or not.
Sardarji replied: "No sir, only babies were born here."
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SARDARJI & HIS EXPERIMENT
Sardarji was experimenting with a cockroach. First he cut off one of it's leg and told “WALK! WALK!”
Cockroach walked. Then he cutoff it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same. At last he cut off it's fourth leg and ordered it walk!
But cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly Sardarji said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf”.
Sardarji become a saint!
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SARDARJI & DRIVER
When Sardarji was traveling with his wife in a taxi. Driver adjusted the rear view mirror.
Sardarji shouted at him: "Are you trying to see my wife? Come sit in my place and I will drive".
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SARDARJI GOES TO HOTEL
Sardarji went to a restaurant. To wash hands he went to the washbasin.
There he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Sardarji pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"
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SARDARJI & INTERVIEWER
Interviewer: Just imagine your in 20th floor in a building, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardarji: It's simple sir! I will just stop my imagination.
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Saturday, February 9, 2008

Ye hai Indian Railways



Have you noticed the comment in 'Spicejet' advt.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

An Intelligent Question


There is a very very tall coconut tree, and there are four animals:
King Kong, Ape, Orangutan and a monkey pass by.
They have a competition to see
Who is the fastest to get the banana.
Can you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality.
Try and answer within 30 seconds.
Got your answer? Yes, then
Scroll down to see the analysis.
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If your answer is ....
Orangutan = You are sooo dull / stupid
Ape = You are Foolish
Monkey = You are an Idiot
Kong = You are stupid
BUT Why ?????
‘coz
Coconut tree, doesn't have bananas ... ??? ...
It's obvious you're stressed by ur work. Ha…ha….ha.........