Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity. ....................................................................................... I was born intelligent - education ruined me. ....................................................................................... Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect...... so why practice? ....................................................................................... If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? ....................................................................................... Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. ....................................................................................... How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word? ....................................................................................... Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. ....................................................................................... One should love animals. They are so tasty. ....................................................................................... Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. ....................................................................................... Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. ....................................................................................... The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise. ....................................................................................... Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. ....................................................................................... Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. ....................................................................................... 'Your future depends on your dreams' So go to sleep ....................................................................................... There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning ....................................................................................... 'Hard work never killed anybody' But why take the risk ....................................................................................... 'Work fascinates me' I can look at it for hours ....................................................................................... God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. ....................................................................................... The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget The more you forget, the less you know So.. Why learn. ........................................................................................... A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say........

use of work telephones

The phone bill was exceptionally high and

the man of the house called a family meeting...

On a Saturday morning...

after breakfast...

Dad: People this is unacceptable.

You have to limit the use of the phone.

I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here,

I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

Son: Me too,

I never use the home phone.

I always use my company mobile.

Maid: So - what is the problem?

We all use our work telephones!!!!!

GOD & PRAY

An Excellent Quote Written in a Prayer Hall :

"God has Time To Listen, Do you have Time to Pray..!!"

Software Engineer

A software engineer was smoking in office.

Girl says, Can’t you see the warning? "Smoking is injurious to health"

The engineer says...........

Any guesses !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.

..

..

..

..

.

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

We bother only about ‘Errors’ not ‘Warnings’ !!!

TRUTH MACHINE

A TRUTH telling machine is bought. It works in the following way.....

If the truth is told- the machine will remain silent (it won’t give any sound)

If a lie is told- the machine will give a sound 'Errrrrrrrrrr’.

Now there are three Indians. One Bengali, one Madrasi and one Sardarji.

Their correspondences are given in front of the lie machine. Here it goes......

Bengali :- 'I think I can eat 30 rosogullas at a time!'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’'

Bengali:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 rosogullas at a time'
Lie machine:- no sound (truth is told)

Madrasi:-'I think I can eat 25 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Madrasi:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-no sound (truth)

Sardarji:-'I think....'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’.

It's called MINDSET

Let us be tricky....

Man

------------------

Board

Ans. = man overboard

Stand
2. ------------

i

Ans. = I understand

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/ g/

Ans. = reading between the lines

4. r
road
a
d

Ans. = cross road

5. cycle
cycle
cycle

Ans. = tricycle

0
6. ------------
M.D.

Ph.D.

Ans. = two degrees below zero

knee
7. ------------

light

Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)

ground
8. ------------ --------- ---

feet feet feet feet feet feet

Ans. = six feet underground

9. he's / himself

Ans. = he's by himself

10. ecnalg

Ans. = backward glance

11. death ..... life

Ans. = life after death

12. THINK

Ans. think big !!

And the last but not least

13. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbb ababaabbaaabbbb. ...

Ans. long time no 'C' (see)