Sunday 24 October 2010

Lessons in Logic



If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.

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I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.


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Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?


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If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?


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Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.


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How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word?


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Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.


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One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

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Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.


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Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.


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The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.


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Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.


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Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.


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'Your future depends on your dreams'
So go to sleep


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There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning


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'Hard work never killed anybody'
But why take the risk


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'Work fascinates me'
I can look at it for hours


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God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.


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The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.


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A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.


On my desk, I have a work station....


what more can I say........

Tuesday 19 October 2010

use of work telephones

The phone bill was exceptionally high and

the man of the house called a family meeting...

On a Saturday morning...

after breakfast...



Dad:
People this is unacceptable.

You have to limit the use of the phone.

I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.


Mum:
Same here,

I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.


Son:
Me too,

I never use the home phone.

I always use my company mobile.


Maid:
So - what is the problem?

We all use our work telephones!!!!!

Wednesday 6 October 2010

GOD & PRAY


An Excellent Quote Written in a Prayer Hall :

"God has Time To Listen, Do you have Time to Pray..!!"


Software Engineer

A software engineer was smoking in office.

Girl says, Can’t you see the warning? "Smoking is injurious to health"

The engineer says...........

Any guesses !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.
..
..
..
..

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
We bother only about ‘Errors’ not ‘Warnings’ !!!

Thursday 30 September 2010

TRUTH MACHINE

A TRUTH telling machine is bought. It works in the following way.....


If the truth is told- the machine will remain silent (it won’t give any sound)

If a lie is told- the machine will give a sound 'Errrrrrrrrrr’.

Now there are three Indians. One Bengali, one Madrasi and one Sardarji.

Their correspondences are given in front of the lie machine. Here it goes......

Bengali :- 'I think I can eat 30 rosogullas at a time!'
Lie machine:-
'Errrrrrrrrrr’'

Bengali:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 rosogullas at a time'
Lie machine:- no sound (truth is told)

Madrasi:-'I think I can eat 25 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-
'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Madrasi:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-no sound (truth)

Sardarji:-'I think....'
Lie machine:-
'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-
'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’.

It's called MINDSET

Saturday 25 September 2010

Let us be tricky....

Man

------------------

Board

Ans. = man overboard

Stand
2. ------------

i

Ans. = I understand

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/ g/

Ans. = reading between the lines


4. r
road
a
d

Ans. = cross road


5. cycle
cycle
cycle

Ans. = tricycle


0
6. ------------
M.D.

Ph.D.

Ans. = two degrees below zero


knee
7. ------------

light

Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)


ground
8. ------------ --------- ---

feet feet feet feet feet feet

Ans. = six feet underground


9. he's / himself

Ans. = he's by himself


10. ecnalg

Ans. = backward glance


11. death ..... life

Ans. = life after death


12. THINK

Ans. think big !!


And the last but not least

13. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbb ababaabbaaabbbb. ...

Ans. long time no 'C' (see)