Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity. ....................................................................................... I was born intelligent - education ruined me. ....................................................................................... Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect...... so why practice? ....................................................................................... If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? ....................................................................................... Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. ....................................................................................... How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word? ....................................................................................... Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. ....................................................................................... One should love animals. They are so tasty. ....................................................................................... Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. ....................................................................................... Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. ....................................................................................... The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise. ....................................................................................... Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. ....................................................................................... Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. ....................................................................................... 'Your future depends on your dreams' So go to sleep ....................................................................................... There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning ....................................................................................... 'Hard work never killed anybody' But why take the risk ....................................................................................... 'Work fascinates me' I can look at it for hours ....................................................................................... God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. ....................................................................................... The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget The more you forget, the less you know So.. Why learn. ........................................................................................... A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say........

use of work telephones

The phone bill was exceptionally high and

the man of the house called a family meeting...

On a Saturday morning...

after breakfast...

Dad: People this is unacceptable.

You have to limit the use of the phone.

I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here,

I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

Son: Me too,

I never use the home phone.

I always use my company mobile.

Maid: So - what is the problem?

We all use our work telephones!!!!!

GOD & PRAY

An Excellent Quote Written in a Prayer Hall :

"God has Time To Listen, Do you have Time to Pray..!!"

Software Engineer

A software engineer was smoking in office.

Girl says, Can’t you see the warning? "Smoking is injurious to health"

The engineer says...........

Any guesses !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.

..

..

..

..

.

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

We bother only about ‘Errors’ not ‘Warnings’ !!!

TRUTH MACHINE

A TRUTH telling machine is bought. It works in the following way.....

If the truth is told- the machine will remain silent (it won’t give any sound)

If a lie is told- the machine will give a sound 'Errrrrrrrrrr’.

Now there are three Indians. One Bengali, one Madrasi and one Sardarji.

Their correspondences are given in front of the lie machine. Here it goes......

Bengali :- 'I think I can eat 30 rosogullas at a time!'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’'

Bengali:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 rosogullas at a time'
Lie machine:- no sound (truth is told)

Madrasi:-'I think I can eat 25 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Madrasi:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-no sound (truth)

Sardarji:-'I think....'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’.

It's called MINDSET

Let us be tricky....

Man

------------------

Board

Ans. = man overboard

Stand
2. ------------

i

Ans. = I understand

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/ g/

Ans. = reading between the lines

4. r
road
a
d

Ans. = cross road

5. cycle
cycle
cycle

Ans. = tricycle

0
6. ------------
M.D.

Ph.D.

Ans. = two degrees below zero

knee
7. ------------

light

Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)

ground
8. ------------ --------- ---

feet feet feet feet feet feet

Ans. = six feet underground

9. he's / himself

Ans. = he's by himself

10. ecnalg

Ans. = backward glance

11. death ..... life

Ans. = life after death

12. THINK

Ans. think big !!

And the last but not least

13. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbb ababaabbaaabbbb. ...

Ans. long time no 'C' (see)

Man, the omnipotent

Woman has Manin it;

Mrs. has Mr. in it;

Female has Malein it;

She has Hein it;

Madam has Adam in it;

Life's music

Life is like a piano,

White keys are happy moments and

Black keys are sad moments.

But remember both keys are played together to give

Sweet music in life...

Perspective, a moral story

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, 'How was the
trip?'

'It was great, Dad.'

'Did you see how poor people live?' the father asked.

'Oh yeah,' said the son.

'So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?' asked the father

The son answered:

'I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.


Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.'

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, 'Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.'

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?


Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Happy New Year Glitter Graphics

About TELENGANA in realistic manner

There is an interesting Questions and Answers on TELENGANA. I am placing the link here and inviting the discussion.

Donkey's story

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL:
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Top 28 things an Indian does after returning from abroad:

1. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
2. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.
3. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
4. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
5. Says Hey instead of Hi.
6. Says Yogurt instead of Curd.
7. Says Cab instead of Taxi.
8. Says Candy instead of Chocolate.
9. Says Cookie instead of Biscuit.
10. Says 'Free Way' instead of Highway.
11. Says got to go instead of Have to go.
12. Says O instead of Zero (for 704, says Seven Oh! Four instead of Seven Zero Four).
13. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps on complaining about it every time he steps out.
14. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilometers, and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs).
15. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 45 times).
16. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk packet.
17. When need to say Z (zed), he never says Z (Zed), repeats Zee several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y, Zee.
18. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says & Oh! British Style!!!!
19. Makes fun of 'Indian Standard టైం' and ‘Indian Road’ Conditions.
20. Even after 2 months, complaints about Jet Lag.
21. Avoids eating more spicy (hot) stuff.
22. Tries to drink 'డైట్' Coke instead of ‘Normal’ Coke.
23. Tries to complain about any thing in ‘India’ as if he is experiencing it for the first time.
24. Pronounces schedule as skejule and module as mojule.
25. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
26. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to ‘India’, even after 4 months of arrival.
27. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.
28. Ultimate one is that …. Always tries to begin conversation with; In US ....or When was in US...

AND SO MANY………

Nice Quotes......Is'nt it.

Cigarette:

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
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Love affairs:
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
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Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
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Divorce:
Future tense of marriage
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Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
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Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
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Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
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Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power.
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Dictionary:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.
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Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
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Ecstasy:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
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Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.
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Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
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Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
**************************************************************
Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
***************************************************************
Etc:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
***************************************************************
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
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Experience :
The name men give to their mistakes.
***************************************************************
Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.
****************************************************************
Philosopher :
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
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Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
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Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
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Optimist :
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.
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Pessimist:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY
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Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
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Father:
A banker provided by nature.
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Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest... Except that he got caught.
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Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
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Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
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Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills .
******************************************************************* *

Disclaimer: These quotes I have collected elsewhere and not my own. _

A wonderful story about MARRIAGE

Priya married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party, Priya’s mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook. With Rs.1000 deposit amount.

Mother: “Priya, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there’s something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it’s about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I’ve done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you’ve had.”

Priya shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.
This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Priya
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Priya got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted
….. and so on…

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn’t talk much. They regretted that they had married the nastiest people in the world…. no more love…Kind of typical nowadays, huh?
One day Priya talked to her Mother:
”Mom, we can’t stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can’t imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!’”
Mother: “Sure, girl, that’s no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can’t stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn’t keep any record of such a poor marriage.”

Priya thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home. When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.

The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Priya. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: -
‘This is the day I notice how much I’ve loved you through out all these years. How much happiness you’ve brought me.’
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.

Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone through all the good years in their life.
“When you fall, in any way, don’t see the place where you fell, instead see the place from where you slipped”.

Disclaimer: Since I liked the above story, I copied and posted in my blog. I do not know the other of this story. If any body has objection, kindly let me know by way of comment.

If there was Ctrl+Z in life........

Nostalgic memories of those 'good old days' – world has changed and we
also changed for the world !!!
Are you missing those days? Sometimes I do

Doordarshan Logo

Doordarshan' s Screensaver

Malgudi Days

Yeh jo hai zindagi

Dekh Bhai Dekh

Ramayan

Mile Sur Mera Tumhara

Buniyad

Turning Point

Bharath Ek Khoj

Alif Laila

Byomkesh Bakshi

Tehkikaat

He Man

Salma Sultana (DD News Reader)

Vicco turmeric,
Nahin cosmetic
Vicco turmeric ayurvedic cream

Washin powder Nirma, Washing powder Nirma
Doodh si safedi, Nirma se aayi
Rangeen kapde bhi khil khil jaaye

I'm a Complan Boy (Shahid Kapoor) and
I'm a Complan Girl (Ayesha Takia)

Surabhi : Renuka Sahane and Siddharth

Then were 'Mungerilal ke hasin sapane' and 'karamchand' ...'Vikram Betal', etc.

How did one survive growing up in the 80’s and 90's?

We had no seatbelts, no airbags..

Cycling was like a breath of fresh air…

No safety helmets, knee pads or elbow pads, with plenty of cardboards
between spokes to make it sound like a motorbike…

When thirsty we only drank road side tap water, bottled water was still a mystery…

We kept busy collecting bits & pieces so we could build all sort of
things … and we were fearless on our bicycles even when the brakes
failed going downhill…

We were showing off how tough we are, by how high we could climb trees
& then jumping down….It was great fun….

We could stay out to play for hours, as long as we got back before
dark, in time for dinner…

We walked to school, or sometimes we even rode our bicycle.

We had no mobile phones, but we always managed to find each other…. How?

We lost teeth, broke arms & legs, we got cuts and bruises and bloody
noses…. nobody complained as we had so much fun, it wasn't anybody's
fault, only ours

We ate everything in sight, cakes, bread, chocolate, ice-cream, sweet
sugary drinks, fruits.. yet, we stayed skinny by fooling around.

And if one of us was lucky to find a 1 litre coca cola bottle we all
had a swig from it & guess what? Nobody picked up any germs...

We did not have Play Stations, MP3, Nintendo's, I-Pods, Video games,
99 Cable TV channels, DVD's, Home Cinema, Home Computers, Laptops,
Chat-rooms, Internet, etc ...

BUT, we had REAL FRIENDS!!!!

We called on friends to come out to play, never rang the doorbell,
just went around the backdoor…

We played with sticks and stones, played cowboys and Indians, doctors
and nurses, hide and seek, soccer games, over and over again…

When we failed our exams we were given a second chance by simply
repeating the same grade…without visiting psychiatrists, psychologists
or counselors…

Such were the days…

We had freedom, success, disappointments and responsibilities. ..

Most of all, we learned to respect others…

Are YOU from that generation ??
Hope, may this post will help to forget the stress that surrounds us
these days….and just for a few moments puts a smile to our faces as
we remember what life was really like in the good old days……

peaceful smile

In the picture, just look at their condition.. no place to sleep, still they have

made some space for d cat n d dog... water poring from the roof but still

each 1 of them have a peaceful smile on their face.. Simply amazing!!!!!

The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems,

but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.

Keep Smiling Always.

moving ahead

When people talk behind your back, what does it mean??

Simple! It means that you are two steps ahead of them!!

So, keep moving ahead in Life!!