Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity. ....................................................................................... I was born intelligent - education ruined me. ....................................................................................... Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect...... so why practice? ....................................................................................... If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? ....................................................................................... Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. ....................................................................................... How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word? ....................................................................................... Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. ....................................................................................... One should love animals. They are so tasty. ....................................................................................... Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. ....................................................................................... Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. ....................................................................................... The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise. ....................................................................................... Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. ....................................................................................... Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. ....................................................................................... 'Your future depends on your dreams' So go to sleep ....................................................................................... There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning ....................................................................................... 'Hard work never killed anybody' But why take the risk ....................................................................................... 'Work fascinates me' I can look at it for hours ....................................................................................... God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. ....................................................................................... The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget The more you forget, the less you know So.. Why learn. ........................................................................................... A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say........

use of work telephones

The phone bill was exceptionally high and

the man of the house called a family meeting...

On a Saturday morning...

after breakfast...

Dad: People this is unacceptable.

You have to limit the use of the phone.

I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here,

I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

Son: Me too,

I never use the home phone.

I always use my company mobile.

Maid: So - what is the problem?

We all use our work telephones!!!!!

GOD & PRAY

An Excellent Quote Written in a Prayer Hall :

"God has Time To Listen, Do you have Time to Pray..!!"

Software Engineer

A software engineer was smoking in office.

Girl says, Can’t you see the warning? "Smoking is injurious to health"

The engineer says...........

Any guesses !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.

..

..

..

..

.

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

We bother only about ‘Errors’ not ‘Warnings’ !!!

TRUTH MACHINE

A TRUTH telling machine is bought. It works in the following way.....

If the truth is told- the machine will remain silent (it won’t give any sound)

If a lie is told- the machine will give a sound 'Errrrrrrrrrr’.

Now there are three Indians. One Bengali, one Madrasi and one Sardarji.

Their correspondences are given in front of the lie machine. Here it goes......

Bengali :- 'I think I can eat 30 rosogullas at a time!'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’'

Bengali:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 rosogullas at a time'
Lie machine:- no sound (truth is told)

Madrasi:-'I think I can eat 25 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Madrasi:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-no sound (truth)

Sardarji:-'I think....'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’.

It's called MINDSET

Let us be tricky....

Man

------------------

Board

Ans. = man overboard

Stand
2. ------------

i

Ans. = I understand

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/ g/

Ans. = reading between the lines

4. r
road
a
d

Ans. = cross road

5. cycle
cycle
cycle

Ans. = tricycle

0
6. ------------
M.D.

Ph.D.

Ans. = two degrees below zero

knee
7. ------------

light

Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)

ground
8. ------------ --------- ---

feet feet feet feet feet feet

Ans. = six feet underground

9. he's / himself

Ans. = he's by himself

10. ecnalg

Ans. = backward glance

11. death ..... life

Ans. = life after death

12. THINK

Ans. think big !!

And the last but not least

13. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbb ababaabbaaabbbb. ...

Ans. long time no 'C' (see)

Man, the omnipotent

Woman has Manin it;

Mrs. has Mr. in it;

Female has Malein it;

She has Hein it;

Madam has Adam in it;

Life's music

Life is like a piano,

White keys are happy moments and

Black keys are sad moments.

But remember both keys are played together to give

Sweet music in life...

Perspective, a moral story

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, 'How was the
trip?'

'It was great, Dad.'

'Did you see how poor people live?' the father asked.

'Oh yeah,' said the son.

'So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?' asked the father

The son answered:

'I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.


Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.'

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, 'Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.'

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?


Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Happy New Year Glitter Graphics